Penthouse USA – May 2016
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FROM THE EDITOR
FRANÇOIS de la Rouchefoucauld famously said, “The only thing constant
in life is change.” Personally, I think anyone who quotes François de la
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bitch’s world has just been turned upside down…and this change affects
all of us in one way or another.
Penthouse Magazine has always been a resource for delivering super-hot
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Penthouse USA – May 2016
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9: THE DEBRIEF
Banksy’s identity revealed, how to get paid to lie in bed, and Kanye West
is in trouble again.
22: MAN OF THE MOMENT: WILL.I.AM
The former Black Eyed Peas front man has his eyes on the future of
wearable tech. Does he have what it takes?
30: WINNING FORMULA
We take a look at what makes Formula One the most technologically
advanced sport on earth.
33: GAME OVER
Our Gamer Girl pushes the right buttons.
45: HIGH LIFE
The most futuristic cars on the road, the Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse, and the revolution in the hotel industry.
85: PET OF THE MONTH
We spent some time locked away in our
Paris hotel room with the stunning Paulini.
The latest and greatest in gadgets,
accessories, and hi-tech gear.
85: PET OF THE YEAR
Lost in the woods with this year’s
Pet of the Year, Kenna James.
96: APPLE VS THE FBI
Why the Apple vs. FBI encryption debate
is bigger than your iPhone.
104: THE INTERVIEW:
We unmask “X-Men” bad guy Michael Fassbender
to talk Steve Jobs, Alicia Vikander, and Hollywood.
Examining the difference between news and opinion.
114: EMBRACE THE SUCK
Shooting the dog.
119: PET OF THE YEAR RUNNER-UP
Grab yourself a little alone time with Aspen Rae.
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Fox Theater Pomona,
Following the success
album Hurry Up, We’re
“Midnight City,” M83 is
on the verge of another
epic full-length release.
Frontman Anthony Gonzalez
describes his forthcoming
album as “more fun
and fresh” with “a lot of
eclecticism.” Catch him
at Fox Theatre Pomona
The Fonda Theatre,
sensation Miike Snow is
serving up a fresh menu
of indie pop with tracks
from his third and latest
album, iii (high five for
creativity). But seriously,
band members Andrew
Wyatt, Pontus Winnberg,
and Galantis Christian
Karlsson are taking over
the Fonda Theatre on
April 20 and it’s not to be
missed. Score tickets for
$35 and also catch New
York-based electro crew
Museum of Love.
Shrine Auditorium & Expo
Center, Los Angeles
Since Claire Boucher—
known as Grimes—put
out her crystalline tour de
force, Visions, in January
2012, she’s become an
indie cult phenomenon,
posed for Vogue and
attracted millions of
viewers on YouTube. The
GarageBand devotee has
veered into increasingly
stranger yet somehow
poppier directions over
Robert De Niro and co.’s
Tribeca Film Festival has
long shown a spotlight
on local indie features,
films, the latest from
big-name talent, and the
greatest from up-andcoming
mixes gritty street cred with
Oscar bait and everything
Citi Field, Queens
This neon-soaked, bassthumping,
weekend is New York’s
version of Coachella—
without all the wannabe
hippies. Instead, EDM
diehards hit Citi Field
for insomniac DJs, fullscale
carnival rides, and
interactive art installations.
Get ready for a sweatinducing
2-day rager and
a lot of untz-untz beats.
ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL
T H E S A N T O R A
F R O M C L E A R W E A T H E R
C L E A RWEAT H E R B R A N D. C O M
WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS STREET ARTIST?
T H E D E B R I E F
GOOGLE IS USING YOU AS FREE LABOR
WHAT WE’VE LEARNED
ICONIC but elusive street artist Banksy
may have been positively identified
thanks to a geographical profiling study
from Queen Mary University of London,
which used a mathematical technique to
discover who the most likely candidate
was, based on how often (his) work
appeared in a certain area.
Following a dispute with Banksy’s
legal team, the mystery man has been
revealed as artist Robin Gunningham.
The study was released by academic
publisher Taylor & Francis, which
showed that Banksy’s work was found
most commonly in places frequented
“We use a Dirichlet process mixture
(DPM) model of geographic profiling,
a mathematical technique developed
in criminology and finding increasing
application within ecology and
epidemiology, to analyze the spatial
patterns of Banksy artworks in Bristol
and London,” the researchers explain.
CAPTCHAs, also known as the
annoying security questions you
decipher to convince a webpage
that you’re a human, are used to stop
fraudulent online activity. But have
you ever noticed that some of them
look suspiciously like house numbers
pulled from Google Street View, or bits
of text from books and newspapers?
A CAPTCHA, for those unfamiliar, is
the distorted text meant to stop bots
from signing up for online accounts.
It stands for Completely Automated
Public Turing test to tell Computers
and Humans Apart. But did you know
that internet users, such as you, are
being used to identify unknown bits of
information from Google Street View,
or online texts, that cannot be scanned
or verified by other means? Every time
you enter a CAPTCHA — one that looks
like a bit of text from a book, or a street
number, Google uses that data to verify
the image against other information,
which will then be used to improve data
on online services like Google Maps.
“We’re running an experiment in
which characters from Street View
Penthouse USA – May 2016
images are appearing in CAPTCHAs.
We often extract data such as street
names and traffic signs from Street
View imagery… Based on the data and
results of these tests, we’ll determine
if using imagery might also be an
effective way to further refine our tools
for fighting machine and bot-related
A year is a long time to spend circling the earth in
zero gravity. In fact, we weren’t sure what spending
that much time in space does to the human body,
After a record setting residence aboard the
International Space Station, NASA astronaut Scott
Kelly has returned to earth after more than 500
days in orbit, two inches taller than his identical twin
One of the main goals of his record-breaking flight
was to observe and study how well humans can
endure in space. Currently, our understanding of
how the human mind and body can cope on longduration
spaceflights is limited.
One of the unique advantages of sending Scott
Kelly to space is that NASA was able to compare
Scott with Mark, who spent the time with his feet
planted firmly on the ground.
Upon return, Kelly, who spent more time in space
than any other American astronaut, reports that
overall he “feels pretty good.”
KELLY GREW TWO
INCHES IN SPACE
A great man once said, “Death is like stupidity: You don’t
know when you’re dead nor do you know when you’re stupid,
it’s just a pain in the ass for everyone else.”
The Flat Earth Society is a group that is certain that the
earth is flat. So certain in fact, they are offering anybody
$5,000 if they can provide flawless evidence that the Earth
is indeed round.
Those that accept the challenge, will have to apply
advanced mathematics, as well as trigonometry, geometry,
and astronomy to prove their point.
Keep in mind that the earth’s roundness has been proven
before, multiple times throughout history. It is entirely
possible that no matter how perfect your proof is, the Flat
Earth Society will not accept the evidence laid out before it.
Why? Because they are willfully ignorant fuckwits.
5,000 IF YOU CAN PROVE
THE EARTH IS ROUND
KELLY HAD RETURNED TO EARTH
AFTER MORE THAN 500 DAYS IN
ORBIT, TWO INCHES TALLER THAN
HIS IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER.
Things to do in Slovenia include:
visiting one of the 10,000 caves, (the
best known, Postojna, runs for around
12 miles). Visit one of the wineries:
there is a winery for every 70 people —
they like a drink. Failing these two, you
could go drink beer from a fountain.
If you were short on reasons as to
why you should visit Europe, now
you have one. Žalec, Slovenia is now
at the top of our must-visit holiday
destinations after the town announced
plans to build a fountain that spurts
out drinkable beer. The fountain will
dispense a variety of local beers which
tourists can pay for, and drink out of a
While a build date is yet to be
confirmed, the project is set to
cost about $330,000 (more than
reasonable, if you ask us), and
expected to attract tourists from
around the globe. Naturally, the
proposed fountain has caused
concern among some of the locals
— probably recovering alcoholics
and parents. But good things are
worth fighting for! And that’s just
what they’re doing. The town’s mayor
says that much of the cost will be
sourced from public donations. “It’s
true the fountain won’t be cheap. But,
it’s a development project, a tourism
product.” Beer goggles will not be
included with the mug, as Slovenians
are already incredibly attractive.
A TOWN IN SLOVENIA TO BUILD
EUROPE’S FIRST BEER FOUNTAIN
In an offer that sounds suspiciously
sweet, NASA paid one man
$18,000 to lie in bed for 70 days.
The study, which took place in
NASA’s Flight Analogue Research
Unit in Houston, TX, looked at the
degenerative effects prolonged
space flight has on human muscles
and bone, and if it can be countered
with exercise. The downside? It
requires that patients do not leave
their bed for the entire 70-day
After a 3-week pre-bed rest phase
where patients are tested and run
through a number of exercises, they
are required to lie down. This is
where they’ll spend the next twoand-
a-bit months of their life, and be
subjected to body scans, needles,
physical tests; urine jugs filled,
collected, and analyzed. And that
raises the question — have you ever
shat while lying down? The idea
defies human anatomical design —
but that’s exactly what is required
of test subjects. They poop in a little
plastic shit pot while lying down.
Patients can also expect sleepless
nights, sleep deprivation, back pain,
NASA WILL PAY YOU
18,000 TO LIE IN BED
Museums are usually hit or miss. This one, however, is all acid hits.
The museum, named the Institute of Illegal Images, contains several
million ‘tabs’ of acid. Collector Mark McCloud has amassed his colorful
collection over the past 30 years, since the 1970s.
“When I first noticed the blotter prints, I said, ‘Boy, this is fascinating,
and maybe I should try to collect some of these so our children know
what happened to us,’” McCloud says.
Each sheet of acid contains different designs and artworks, making
the psychedelic artifacts tiny little works of art. Most “blotter art” was
created so that consumers could identify where the acid came from.
Some acid designs went as far as to give subtle clues as to which
chemist created them. For example, when Mr. Bill appeared on a blotter,
it signified that the sheet came from a certain chemist named Mr. Bill,
While blotter art isn’t as prevalent as it once was, it’s still out there, and
people are still making, buying, and using acid. “It’s still happening, like
at those [Grateful] Dead shows going on recently,” McCloud says. “But
it looks different now. I saw one that looked 3-D. Lenticular.”
MUSEUM CONTAINS MILLIONS OF TABS OF ACID
Some stories are so good, they write themselves. Kanye West,
after reportedly considering legal action against filesharing site
The Pirate Bay for facilitating mass piracy of his new album, The
Life of Pablo, has been caught visiting The Pirate Bay.
Last month, Kanye tweeted a photo that showed him listening
to Sufjan Stevens on YouTube. However, the image indicated
that Kanye was busy with other, more nefarious activities. In
Kanye’s browser tabs, you can see that he was researching an
advanced wavetable synthesiser software called Serum on The
Deadmau5, music producer and co-founder of Xfer Records,
which makes Serum, was not amused by Kanye’s actions. “What
the fuck @kanyewest … Can’t afford serum? Dick,” he tweeted.
A few minutes later he followed up with this zinger: “Let’s start a
Kickstarter to help @kanyewest afford a copy of Serum.”
In typical West style, he has claimed it was just a joke. “It’s
funny because, you know, it’s obviously not my computer,” Kanye
can be heard telling the paparazzi. “I took a picture of it in the
studio, and then everybody was like, ‘Don’t put that up.’ I was
like, ‘Let it go up’.”
“You know, the irony is that (The Pirate Bay) was the site that
downloaded a million of my albums…” Kanye continued after a
KANYE WEST GETS BUSTED
USING THE PIRATE BAY
FROM DEEP SPACE
Repeating radio signals coming from a mystery source far
beyond the Milky Way have been discovered by scientists.
This is the first time multiple signals have been detected
coming from the same place in space.
So, is it aliens? Probably not.
Current theories state that the FRBs (fast radio bursts) are
likely due to a cataclysmic event, like a supernova or a neutron
star collapsing into a black hole. However, this theory does
not explain why repeated signals would come from the same
place. If a star collapsed, there would be no more signals
coming from it, thus, it cannot have been a cataclysmic oneoff
Paul Scholz, from McGill University, was the first person
to notice the repeating burst: “I knew immediately that the
discovery would be extremely important in the study of FRBs.”
In the study, researchers suggest the repeating bursts are
coming from a very young neutron star. “Although there may
be multiple physical origins for the population of fast radio
bursts, these repeat bursts… support an origin in a young,
highly magnetized, extragalactic neutron star,” they wrote.
Thinking of giving that secretary job to
the most beautiful candidate? Well, if
it’s because you think she may be the
best at her job (which she probably
isn’t), then think again.
According to a scientific journal
article published by Sean N. Talamas,
your perception may be distorted
by the insidious influence of an
According to Talamas, while there
are aspects of the face that give us
cues as to the health or intelligence
of an individual, the attractiveness of
an individual will trump all other facecards.
It’s the Ace.
This has especially negative
consequences when applied to a
professional environment, particularly
in the context of hiring, where a lessqualified,
or inept individual may be
granted a position simply based on
The study found there is no
correlation between attractiveness
and actual academic performance.
If there were, it would be a science
akin to the long deposed study of
phrenology, which is effectively what
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